domestic abuse

December 14, 2023

Can Being a High Achiever Lead to Domestic Violence?

When we think on a fundamental level about domestic violence, we sometimes think in stereotypical terms based on our ideas of who/what an abuser is. Maybe we imagine an abuser as someone who has no job or no ambition; maybe in our minds, they’ve got mental health issues or are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

But these things don’t describe you. By all accounts, you’re considered a success. You’re a noted overachiever. So, how is it that you’re under arrest for domestic violence? Why have you been served with a protective order? How could this happen? In your mind, you don’t fit the “profile” of an abuser.

And that’s where you’d be wrong. Domestic violence, an issue that plagues societies worldwide, has no singular face or definitive profile. It’s a complex and multifaceted problem affecting individuals from all walks of life, including those we often deem successful and accomplished. In fact, for high achievers, the pressure to maintain that success can even be a driving factor of violence.

November 24, 2023

Power and Control: The Underlying Motivation for Domestic Violence

by Michael Kraut

It’s a reality of life that couples sometimes disagree–sometimes even loudly. Sometimes, an argument can get out of hand, leading one to accuse the other of domestic violence. If you’ve recently been arrested over such an argument, and it’s your first offense, you might be able to explain it as a disagreement that went too far. But if this is not your first time being accused of domestic violence, but perhaps even the third or fourth, that suggests a pattern of abuse. As uncomfortable as it might be, it’s probably time to look at the underlying causes behind these behavior patterns. In many cases, if not most, it comes down to a need to exert power and control over your partner.

Power dynamics in abusive relationships can often be subtle and sometimes quite overt–but so prevalent is the dynamic of control in abusive relationships that California has even passed a “coercive control” law, which enables victims to seek a protective order simply by providing evidence of a “pattern of behavior that unreasonably interferes with a person’s free will and personal liberty.” The bottom line is that if you are a repeat offender, there’s a high probability that you have control issues regarding your partner. So, let’s delve into this idea and see what we can learn.

Understanding Power and Control in Relationships

May 16, 2022

The Connection between Cruelty to Animals and Domestic Violence

by Michael Kraut

There’s a technique frequently used in Hollywood during character introductions in movies and TV shows to subtly inform the audience as to whether that character is a “good guy” or a villain: depict how they act around animals. If the character is shown being kind and loving to their pet, we trust and empathize with them; if the character is mean to animals, we know not to trust them. One of the most poignant examples is in the opening scene of the Netflix series House of Cards, during which Frank Underwood rushes to the aid of a dog that has just been struck by a car, and, while talking directly to the camera, calmly chokes the dog to death. (Not pictured, of course.) We immediately know from this scene that we’re looking at an extremely dangerous man.

This storytelling technique works because we instinctively understand that there is a connection between how someone treats animals and how they will treat humans. As it turns out, it’s more than just a feeling. Numerous studies have indeed confirmed a link between cruelty to animals and domestic violence. In one study of women in abusive relationships who had pets, 89 percent of them reported their violent partner harmed or killed their pet, as well. In another, 88 percent of homes where child abuse was being investigated also showed signs of animal abuse. A third study concluded that people who are cruel to animals are five times more likely to harm other humans.

In short, many authorities and domestic violence advocates now confidently state that if someone is abusive toward animals, it’s an indicator that they either have been or will be prone to committing acts of domestic violence. Let’s explore this connection in a bit more detail to see what we can learn.

March 29, 2020

Women Who Commit Domestic Violence: An Overview

by Michael Kraut

In 2014, noted female soccer star Hope Solo was arrested and charged with two counts of domestic violence assault charges against her half-sister and 17-year-old nephew. That same year, singer Solange (sister of Beyoncé Knowles) was caught on video violently attacking her brother-in-law Jay-Z.

These stories grab our attention, not just because of the celebrities involved, but because they point out the rare occasions in which we hear about women committing some sort of domestic abuse.

When we think about domestic violence, we typically presume the perpetrator is a man and the victim is a woman. And with good reason: The overwhelming majority of DV cases involve a male perpetrator and a female victim. However, some women can be as violent as men when it comes to their relationships, and some believe the number of women who commit domestic violence is significantly underreported. Let’s take an overview of this often-overlooked issue to see what we can learn.