protective order

February 20, 2023

Accused of Domestic Violence During a Complex Divorce: What You Need to Know

It can feel like being thrown out of the frying pan into the fire. You’re suffering through a particularly messy and contentious divorce, when one day, there’s a knock on your door, and the police are holding a warrant for your arrest on allegations of domestic violence or child abuse. Suddenly, a complex situation has become even more complicated because while you’re fighting for your rights on the custody and property fronts on one side, you’re now facing possible criminal charges and jail time on the other. Not to mention a domestic violence arrest and/or conviction can have a negative impact on your divorce settlement and even your parental rights. What can you do to protect your rights? How should you respond?

There are no easy answers here, especially considering that the laws in California are particularly designed to protect the victims more than they are the defendants. But let’s discuss some of the ramifications of what can happen if you’re accused of domestic violence in the midst of a divorce process, and the best way to respond in that situation.

Why Domestic Violence Accusations May Arise During a Divorce

January 18, 2023

Dealing with Shame and Regret After Domestic Violence

by Michael Kraut

You never intended for it to happen. You had a disagreement with a member of your family (perhaps a spouse or someone else you love). Emotions escalated, and you lost your temper. Now, you’re facing possible charges of domestic violence. Perhaps you’ve alienated your loved one, and they’re now seeking a protective order against you. The idea fills you with regret—and with shame. What do you do?

Let’s be honest: it is natural to experience feelings of shame and regret after a domestic violence incident—and they can be very difficult to process. But these emotions can also be used as a force for positive change in your life. Let’s explore how to take those negative feelings of shame and regret and use them to create healthier relationships with the people close to you.

Understanding the Gravity of Domestic Violence

December 15, 2022

The Impact of “Gaslighting” in Domestic Violence Situations

by Michael Kraut

In domestic violence cases, whether in protective order hearings or during a trial, the term “gaslighting” is often used to describe a pattern of behavior in which the defendant’s denial of wrongdoing actually furthers the abuse. In reality, gaslighting IS a form of abuse, and if you do it to your partner, the state gives your partner recourse against you. But in this day and age, if you’re accused of domestic violence, false allegations of “gaslighting” can actually strengthen an unfair case against you. Let’s delve deeper into the subject of gaslighting–what the term means, how it can further a pattern of abuse, and how it could even be used against you in a domestic violence case.

What is Gaslighting?

In California, domestic violence is defined as abuse committed against an intimate partner, cohabitant, or family member. This abuse can take many forms, including physical, emotional, sexual, economic, and psychological abuse. “Gaslighting” is a type of psychological abuse in which the abuser attempts to make the victim doubt their own perceptions, memories, and even sanity in order to keep the victim under their abusive control. The term “gaslight” comes from a British stage play Gas Light, later remade into the famous film Gaslight starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman, in which a husband uses trickery to convince his wife she is losing her mind.

October 17, 2022

When Domestic Violence Crosses State Lines

by Michael Kraut

Within the State of California, domestic violence law is fairly straightforward, as is the process for arresting and charging someone with domestic battery or another domestic violence crime. But what happens if the victim or the assailant is from another state? What if the offense occurred against a California resident while in another state, or if a partner crosses into California to threaten or attack the victim? Or what if the crime itself crosses state lines (for example, if it involves kidnapping)?

These issues make jurisdiction a bit more complicated, but there are no real “loopholes” where an alleged perpetrator can avoid prosecution because of where the crime occurred. Let’s discuss some basic examples in which a domestic violence case might involve more than one state, and how each scenario might be handled.

If the Act of Violence Occurs in Another State

September 17, 2022

When Your Domestic Violence Case “Goes Public”

by Michael Kraut

In California, which has some of the most stringent domestic violence laws in the country, simply being accused of domestic violence can be incredibly disruptive and stress-inducing. But when those allegations become “news,” whether in the press or through social media, the situation can be exponentially more complicated. Now, on top of facing the hassles of a protective order, possibly being forced from your home, and possible criminal charges, you’re also being tried in the so-called “court of public opinion,” which often considers a person guilty until proven innocent. Let’s talk about some of the ways your domestic violence case could find its way into the public dialogue and what additional challenges you might face as a result.

Ways Your Domestic Violence Allegations Could Become Public

In many cases, family disputes that devolve into accusations of domestic violence happen within the privacy of people’s homes. But the fact remains that in our society, nothing really happens in a vacuum–and many times, people accused of it are surprised to find out how many people know about it. Some ways that your domestic violence case could become a public matter include: