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pexels-cottonbro-studio-4098369-200x300While domestic violence is a serious public health issue, and while the State of California rightfully implements strong laws to protect victims, there are also many instances in which someone may be unfairly accused of domestic violence. In fact, research has shown that in as many as 25-35 percent of all domestic violence cases, accusations made are either unverifiable by facts, made by mistake or outright fabricated. Unfortunately, when this happens, California law tends to err on the side of the alleged victims, drawing immediate guardrails around the accused as a precaution and causing significant life disruptions in the process.

Perhaps you’ve experienced this reality firsthand. Maybe your partner has falsely accused you of domestic violence, and you’ve found yourself removed from your home, hit with a protective order barring you from contact with your partner (and possibly your children), and perhaps even facing criminal charges–let alone being saddled with the public stigma of being labeled an abuser. Why do these accusations get made–and more importantly, what can be done about it to repair the damage to your life?

False Domestic Violence Accusations: Why and How

nadine-shaabana-M_f3f8DGRg-unsplash-300x200Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or social status. However, one common predictor is the presence of toxicity in the relationship. Volatile emotions, poor disagreement skills, power imbalances, manipulation, and control characterize this toxicity. In the early stages of a relationship, these traits may be mistaken for typical challenges. But if left unchecked, they can escalate into domestic violence, leading you down a path of complicated court processes and serious consequences.

Toxic relationships aren’t the sole cause of violence, but if you’ve recently been arrested for domestic violence, chances are you missed some early warning signs of toxicity. Recognizing these red flags is crucial for legal reasons and fostering healthier dynamics. Early recognition and intervention can help avoid legal involvement. Let’s delve into this idea and explore the signs and red flags to watch out for.

What Constitutes a Toxic Relationship?

inaki-del-olmo-NIJuEQw0RKg-unsplash-300x200When we think on a fundamental level about domestic violence, we sometimes think in stereotypical terms based on our ideas of who/what an abuser is. Maybe we imagine an abuser as someone who has no job or no ambition; maybe in our minds, they’ve got mental health issues or are addicted to drugs and alcohol. 

But these things don’t describe you. By all accounts, you’re considered a success. You’re a noted overachiever. So, how is it that you’re under arrest for domestic violence? Why have you been served with a protective order? How could this happen? In your mind, you don’t fit the “profile” of an abuser.

And that’s where you’d be wrong. Domestic violence, an issue that plagues societies worldwide, has no singular face or definitive profile. It’s a complex and multifaceted problem affecting individuals from all walks of life, including those we often deem successful and accomplished. In fact, for high achievers, the pressure to maintain that success can even be a driving factor of violence.

pexels-pixabay-163431-300x200It’s a reality of life that couples sometimes disagree–sometimes even loudly. Sometimes, an argument can get out of hand, leading one to accuse the other of domestic violence. If you’ve recently been arrested over such an argument, and it’s your first offense, you might be able to explain it as a disagreement that went too far. But if this is not your first time being accused of domestic violence, but perhaps even the third or fourth, that suggests a pattern of abuse. As uncomfortable as it might be, it’s probably time to look at the underlying causes behind these behavior patterns. In many cases, if not most, it comes down to a need to exert power and control over your partner.

Power dynamics in abusive relationships can often be subtle and sometimes quite overt–but so prevalent is the dynamic of control in abusive relationships that California has even passed a “coercive control” law, which enables victims to seek a protective order simply by providing evidence of a “pattern of behavior that unreasonably interferes with a person’s free will and personal liberty.” The bottom line is that if you are a repeat offender, there’s a high probability that you have control issues regarding your partner. So, let’s delve into this idea and see what we can learn.

Understanding Power and Control in Relationships

hunters-race-MYbhN8KaaEc-unsplash-300x200Being accused of domestic violence is a serious matter that can have life-altering implications. In California, the consequences extend beyond legal penalties; they can also significantly impact your current job and future career prospects. Not only do you have to deal with the stigma of being simply accused of domestic violence (whether or not it actually happened), but a domestic violence arrest or conviction can also make it difficult to get hired for certain jobs, completely disqualify you from others, keep you from obtaining a professional license, or worse, cause any current professional license you hold to be suspended or revoked. 

Fortunately, you’re not entirely helpless in this situation. You can take numerous steps to minimize the damage a domestic violence charge might have on your professional life. Let’s explore the specific repercussions that a domestic violence arrest or conviction could have on your career prospects and what you can do to improve your situation.

How Domestic Violence Charges Can Affect Your Job or Career

pexels-mart-production-7699320-200x300When thinking about domestic violence, especially from the standpoint of criminal charges, we typically think of it in terms of the perpetrator (the defendant) and the victim (the accuser). But domestic violence spares no one in the families where it happens, and there are other victims to consider. As many as 90 percent of domestic violence incidents are witnessed by the children in the home, and these children are also victims of the violence, even if they are not direct victims of child abuse

Overall, the research is clear: Children caught in the storm of domestic violence typically carry the scars into adulthood, and the impacts frequently manifest in psychological and behavioral ways. The fact is, the children can’t help but be affected. The question is, how much does domestic abuse affect children? Does witnessing spousal abuse predetermine a child’s fate? Will they inevitably become either abusers or the abused in their adult relationships? Let’s look at this issue to see what we can learn.

The Psychological Impact of Witnessing Spousal Abuse

pexels-odonata-wellnesscenter-226166-300x206People tend to think of domestic violence in simplistic, one-way terms. There is an abuser, and there is a victim–and that is the case in many situations. But in reality, many abusive relationships are mutually abusive–that is, both parties are physically violent with each other. Multiple studies have revealed that up to 60 percent of relationships in which domestic violence occurs are mutually abusive. When both parties allege abuse, from a legal standpoint, the situation gets very complicated very quickly—especially during the arrest and investigation process.

So the question is, how does California deal with such cases? What happens when you and your partner accuse each other of domestic violence? Let’s explore the concept of mutual abuse in California, how it impacts the legal process, and what one can expect when faced with such accusations.

Understanding Mutual Abuse

pexels-rdne-stock-project-6003572-300x200Being arrested on domestic violence charges can be confusing, humiliating, and disconcerting, especially if it’s the first time it’s happened to you. But facing domestic violence charges a second or third time can be utterly demoralizing. The first time it happened, you were unsure of how you got here (perhaps you told yourself things just “got out of hand”), but you swore you wouldn’t find yourself in this place again. 

By the second or third arrest, it’s not as easy to discount the issue as a misunderstanding. One time could be written off as an anomaly, but multiple arrests indicate a pattern. Aside from needing experienced legal help to address the charges, the best way to keep this from recurring is to identify the patterns at work and look for ways to disrupt them. 

Recognizing Different Types of Abuse

pexels-alex-green-5699780-300x200We typically think of domestic violence in the context of spousal or family relationships, but it also happens quite frequently in dating relationships. The statistics regarding domestic violence occurring on college campuses alone are both eye-opening and alarming. Victims of domestic violence on campus often feel ashamed and quite helpless because it’s happening at a time when young adults are just starting to navigate the complexities of relationships and personal boundaries. Perpetrators are also coming of age and often don’t know how to control their darker impulses. And if you’re a college student in California accused of domestic violence, you could be facing serious consequences not only criminal charges, but also disciplinary action from the school that could deeply impact your educational and career prospects. Let’s look into this issue further to see what we can learn.

Prevalence of Domestic Violence on Campus

A look at the numbers reveals the scope of the problem. While domestic violence is prevalent across all demographics, the abuse rate on college campuses exceeds the national average considerably. Consider the following statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) regarding dating relationships on campus:

pexels-photomix-company-887751-300x200If you’ve recently been arrested for and/or charged with domestic battery, stalking, or other forms of domestic violence, you already know what a disruption it can be to your life and your family. Of course, your first course of action is to navigate this process with the help of an experienced attorney–but when the initial crisis is over, your next most important step is to find ways to avoid a repeat incident. 

Fortunately, as with so many other problems in our lives, the digital age now offers solutions that we didn’t have even a few years ago. Let’s explore some technological innovations you can leverage to help you address the issues that may have caused this incident, move past this crisis, and, most of all, avoid future incidents.

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